When you know everything about someone—their bowel schedule, their political rant, the way they leave wet towels on the floor—the mystery required for lust evaporates. You cannot crave the unknown when nothing is unknown.
Maintaining lust requires acknowledging the "otherness" of your partner. As psychotherapist Esther Perel famously noted, "Fire needs air." To keep the lustful side of the duet alive, couples must maintain their own individualities. When you see your partner in their element—succeeding at work, engaging in a hobby, or being charismatic in a social setting—you see them as a separate, desirable entity, rather than just an extension of your domestic life. Synchronizing the Melodies A Couple-s Duet of Love Lust